fear is the mind chiller

Fear is unfortunate, on the one hand it can keep you safe, on the other it can keep you too safe. There is definitely such a thing as too safe.

Sometimes I crawl, falling upon swords as I stab myself with maliciousness. Ridiculousness, riding lowly, slowly faltering in the feverish fearful dreamscape. Escapades of eventual self-defeat, defecating on my own desires.

But no fear today, I banish it and believe in the things I keep telling myself are fraught with fabrications; my head doesn’t actually know sometimes.

Today I am trusting what my body says. At one point it said, “get off this damn beach and go and eat something”, and I knew it was right. When I am in the US I hate buying takeaway food because I feel like I don’t know what’s in it. So today, instead of shopping for some new clothes, I shopped for food to cook for myself. The food I made was yummy and I realised that I should have perhaps bought some ice cream as well.

Today, I am trusting what my body says about other things too. My body feels good, alive and happy.

Trust: aroha not fear.